I'm to young to be this old.

Ugh.

That's really all i have to say about that.


90 Lbs overweight, short of breath, day snoring, stiff, achy and an otherwise pathetic, miserable shadow of the man I once was.

Now don't get me wrong. The components of my life are pretty awesome. I have a wonderful wife, a beautiful son, a fantastic family, business is moving right along and there are really no big negatives that many other people have on their plates, and who by the way are not doing to themselves what I am.

I could sit here and blame my condition on certain things and most people would probably sympathize, but in reality, I really just kinda threw in the towel concerning my physical well being. No excuses, I just quit striving or fighting or whatever you wanna call it. I just quit. And now I'm fat. Not just a little fat either. I'm carrying around and additional 65% of what i should weight. That's more than half of a whole other me!

The most frustrating part of the whole thing is that the power to be something other than what I have become has always been in my hands. I know what to do and I simply don't. I consciously make bad decisions when there are viably better options available. I am so not happy with myself so I keep self medicating with fat and sugar and cheese and carbohydrates. Its like some sort of long, drawn out,  passive-aggressive suicide. I'm missing out on the life that I'm smack dab in the middle of. Its literally passing me by, and if I don't do something about it on the quick, I'm going to miss it.

So, yeah.

I'm waiting on a package. It should be here in a couple of days. I should be back on the mat in a week. 8 months? Let's see how this goes.